Chapter 25

I did what I could do, learned how to manage life in general with four little ones. We moved into our new home and slowly settled in. Every night I was careful to check all the door and window locks, consumed by the fear that Pam might try to take Naomi out of desperation. I had shown her our new place, hoping to dispel any fear of abandonment for Pam, and now I prayed she would not find her way if she tried. I felt selfish but protective. I hated that I had to fight with myself and constantly question my own motives. In the end, there was no attempted abduction, but in my heart I lived through one every night. I would wake every morning with an urgency to see Naomi tucked securely in her bed. 

When Naomi turned four months, I received a letter from Pam. She told me of how she had found an affordable place to live with a roommate, and was still looking for a job. She shared both her joys and struggles, even mentioning her fondness for Naomi. I was glad for the letter, glad that she was well and getting back up on her feet. I was glad there was no mention of Joe. I made a quick reply back in an effort to keep the communication, and so that she could see my desire to maintain a relationship with her even though we had had our first big disagreement. 

After that, some time passed and the adoption paperwork progressed. Pam’s rights had been relinquished and we hoped Joe would also decide to relinquish his in court. He requested contact of some sort, a letter and some pictures, and everyone felt that it could only help him make an active decision. I wrote a letter and sent the pictures to Nightlight, who then forwarded it to his lawyer. We never received word back and Joe made no effort towards a healthy relationship with us. Eventually his rights were terminated in court due to his inactivity and we were able to slowly move forward with the adoption. By this time, Naomi was nine months old.