Chapter 27

In this security, our relationship evolved. I mourned with her as she was rejected after job interviews, and rejoiced in the hope of each new possibility. I wanted to fix everything for her and help her onto the easy road as quickly as possible, but she was determined to make it on her own. As any true friend would do, I offered advice and put my two cents in whenever I thought it necessary, and she accepted or rejected it as she saw fit. The pressure was off and we were both free to be ourselves, accepting each other as is. 

In one of these genuinely raw conversations, as she was sharing about Cassandra’s life, I dared to tread a little deeper. Cassandra was being displaced again, and her birth father was stepping up to take custody of her. He had found an apartment close to her high school that they could live in together so that she did not have to switch schools. In all that Pam had shared with me about Art, he seemed like an upstanding guy: he was actively involved in Cassandra’s life, had been both financially and emotionally supportive of her, and maintained a cordial relationship with Pam. “So what happened with all of that? Why didn’t you ever get married?’

Pam came up with some excuse that did not hold much water; I noticed it as well as she did. She thought contemplatively on the matter and I saw her making more of an effort to spend time with him. I shared how I felt there was no harm in pursuing a relationship, and she expressed how she did not want to possibly give Cassandra hope, only to disappoint her again. Pam’s hesitancy did not last long, and the more time they spent together, the more she seemed to enjoy Art’s company. 

It was not long until the wedding bells were sounding! I received a phone call before an invitation in the mail, and I assured her that I would be there – nothing could keep me away. It was the first time that we would see Pam’s siblings since Naomi’s birth, and the first time we would meet Art, and Pam’s parents. This was an important event!

We decided that Paul and I would be the only ones attending; we would leave the children at home. The thought of bringing Naomi was daunting, and unnecessary as far as we were concerned. This was a time to celebrate Art, Pam, and Cassandra as a family unit, and all distractions were unwarranted. It was also going to be a time of stress for Paul and I; no matter how wonderful a celebration this was, our place there was still so very uncertain. We were not sure exactly how we fit in, other than bringing a discussion to the table that many others would want to avoid.