Chapter 28

It was a beautiful day in the later afternoon. The ceremony was held at a location filled with flowers in bloom, tucked in a plethora of trees. Pam was beautiful, Cassandra was poised, and Art was one lucky man! The minister spoke of reconciliation and grace, celebrating the joining of two hearts in a family of three. My eyes teared up on several occasions as I recalled the long road, one that I had only been on for such a short time in perspective. I felt insignificant, but glad to be taking part in such an event, thankful that Pam invited us. 

We bought them a skillet and a book, to keep love alive and their marriage sizzling. Haphazardly we placed the gift on a table adorned with others and made our way to the reception area just a short jaunt away. The tables were quickly filling up as we scanned the area and we were not sure where to sit. We did not know anybody, except for family, but we did not want to make anyone uncomfortable. We chose an empty table towards the front and sat down. 

As more people entered, none chose to sit with us. They cast confusing glances our way, trying to determine if they might know us from somewhere, but resigned to the fact that they did not, and so kept on walking. Our table remained empty until all of the tables had filled. Paul and I uncomfortably joked about the fact that we had not spotted the “family” table yet (or the family for that matter), and how, “Wouldn’t it be funny if they sat at our table because there was nowhere else to sit?” 

Unfortunately, our jest was not far from reality. And not just any family sat down at our table – it was Pam’s parents. They held out their hands to us in general greeting and we shook, introducing ourselves as some of Pam’s friends from the high desert. Her father remarked on how appreciative he was of the support of her friends up that way. Our conversation moved from that to a general questioning, with us posing the inquiry. We had to keep the discussion’s focus away from us, centered on them. 

We really enjoyed that time we had, getting to know them, and especially enjoyed the humor; Pam had shared with me how her dad was quite the comedian. It was a time without expectations or awkwardness; they had no idea who we were, the parents of their granddaughter who was placed for adoption. And so they were free to be themselves, and got to know us for who we were, removed from the uncertainty of who we were supposed to be. 

By the time Pam and Art started making their rounds, we were able to work through most of the butterflies in our stomachs. They visited nearby tables, exchanging hugs and words with those in attendance. I was happy for the opportunity we would have to show people we were supposed to be there in the accepting embrace of the bride and groom. 

Pam was so glad to see us; I could tell in her hurried movement to our location. As we hugged and I congratulated her, I tried to anticipate my initial greeting for Art: a handshake or a hug? My uncertainty was dispelled as Pam let me go and Art enveloped me in his strong arms, a “Thank you,” spoken softly in my ear. In that moment my body relaxed, for the first time I knew I was welcome. 

Until that point in time, I was not sure how Art would view me: As a threat? As someone who hurt Pam? It could have gone in a number of directions. I thought he would want to be done with me, moving on, over it. I could hardly blame him. Naomi was the product of a relationship that pulled Pam away from him, and I was her mother. His embrace of me in that moment dispelled all fear, and I was thankful that Pam had chosen to marry such an amazing man, for both her sake and ours.