Chapter 4

 Spirits were high as I began the production of our “Family Book.”  Back to the grind: collection of cute pictures – check!  Consider audience – check, check!  And the all-too-important selection of appealing stationary — check, check, check! 

          I put a lot of thought and consideration into our book, struggled with every minor decision, and tried to craft a masterpiece: it had to be perfect!  I selected the pictures with smiles, family trips, all of our grand adventures and shots of everyday life.  Children displaying, “My Dad Is The Man” t-shirts, picture-perfect poses of Daddy-and-me bike rides around the neighborhood, and even a shot of him looking silly with his fourth grade students.  I knew I had to sell Paul good.

          My pictures were of me in nurturing positions; I loved and encouraged my children towards their utmost.  I wanted to appear loving, supportive, and non-threatening.  I did not want the potential birth mom to see me as competition.

          Each child had individual pages with highlighted specific activities; we were prioritizing the development of their individual talents, even though they came from a large family.  Emphasis was put on the joy of sibling bonds and family time.  I chose pictures from our visits to national parks, pumpkin patches, the desert, beaches, and educational museums. If you wanted your child to have a myriad of adventures and learning opportunities, we were the family for you! 

          This being my fourth book, I had become quite adept at the production of this type of marketing tool.  Over the years I had honed my skills and was quite confident in my ability to “sell” our family to the prospective buyer.  I maintained a wide-base of interest, being careful to include as many different life experiences as possible in order to make that individual connection with whoever might be considering us.

          Through the years, in an effort to deal with some of the frustration that results from someone judging you and your family by a few words and pictures, I lovingly refer to this process as being “On Market.”  We were on display, open for business, and ready to jump through hoops for whoever might come a’biddin’!  I embraced this position as being an inevitable one, if we had any hopes for building a family.  And even though it was emotionally taxing, I enjoyed making the Family Books. It was both a humbling, and if only for the moment, an empowering position to be in…as long as I did not make any fatal mistakes.

          With each “showing” of our book, and subsequent passing over, my hope again waned; seven months of being “On Market” was enough to dampen the lightest of souls.  We put a bid on a house, out in the country, a great place to raise our rather “large” family of three children.

          I was seven months pregnant when I met with Mary.  She brought with her scrapbooks of families I could choose from.  Oh my gosh…how on earth do I make the right decision, especially after the pattern of wrong decisions I had been making?  I prayed for wisdom — I prayed before I looked at the scrapbooks.  I wanted a sign, something tangible so I knew I was on the right track. 

         When I looked through Renee’s scrapbook I just knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that they were the right family.  I saw photos of a garden with pumpkins, and pictures of Yosemite.  They helped me feel a connection: my daughter had experienced outings and activities like these when she was younger. 

I also saw a beautiful cradle that had been passed down through generations in the Longshore family.  Not to mention the fact that I got significant movement and activity from the baby.  We were both very excited about this new possibility.