Lydia Part 2: Things Fall Apart

Our extended family was already fracturing at the seams. My parents got caught in the bursting of the housing bubble in 2006, and then they moved to Texas. In 2012, Paul’s parents separated and his dad (David) was diagnosed with early-onset Dementia. Everything started shifting, and with our own support system crumbling, we had no choice but to try and make do.

David started progressing rather quickly in his dementia, early winter of 2014. Paul and I were both back to teaching full-time. His roommate was concerned. Trying to bridge the gap, we encouraged him to move into an assisted living facility. Not hearing anything of it, he moved himself out of a friend’s house and into an apartment. 

I will never forget the day someone called because they found our dad, collapsed in a shopping center parking lot. Suffering a stroke, his health quickly deteriorated. Two months later, on December 19, 2015, he died.

After 50 years of marriage, Paul’s mom was a widow. Even though they had separated, David always helped out around the house and covered the bills. Raising four kids, both of us teaching, we still felt we had to be there for her. I went regularly to make sure bills were being paid, medical needs were met, and groceries were stocked. 

A year and a half after Dad’s passing, I found that Mom, too, was dealing with a decline in her own mental health. She was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s dementia a year later. I advocated for her private disability insurance, filed all necessary paperwork, and convinced her to move in with us. She was with us for two years before we had to move her into a nursing home.