The Longshore Family
When people ask, don't tell them you "are adopted" but that you "were adopted," because your journey home does not define you. It is just an important part of your journey.
When we started to look into adoption, other adoptive families and adoptees came out of the woodwork. After some good conversation, we decided to begin the process of being licensed through San Bernardino County with the hope of adopting through their Relinquishment Program.
We signed up for and attended Orientation, completed P.R.I.D.E. Training and Homestudy (for a Fost/Adopt License), and got our house licensed in just under nine months (we were told it would take a year). Lydia’s birth mom chose us, seeing our Birth Mom/Profile Book before our file was complete, but she was not placed in our home until 3 ½ months later because her birth father expressed an interest in raising her.
It almost broke us, losing Daniel (a court-dependent placement) after caring for him for almost a year in our home. Timid about adopting again, but determined, we took the steps necessary to continue building our family. After a mandated three-month grieving period, we updated our county Fost/Adopt License, and threw our names back in the hat, submitting a Birth Mom/Profile Book to the County Relinquishment Program.
Our file was chosen after just two months “On Market.” David had a heart condition (Pulmonary Stenosis) and the possibility of surgery in the near future. The bith father’s family had expressed curiosity, but the social worker wanted to move forward with Shayla’s choice for placement, hoping to get him settled in his forever home before the procedure.
Thinking it would be safer going through a “Private” adoption agency, we switch from San Bernardino County to Nightlight Christian Adoptions. After completing an Adoption Homestudy in three months, we submitted our Personal Profile (Birth Mom/ProfileBook) and waited just four weeks before we were matched with Noelle (pregnant with Elijah).
It was nice being able to spend time getting to know the her and her extended family. Paul and I were even invited to the hospital, to be part of the delivery and after-birth care. While we did find the adoption experience to be more personal this way, we learned that every adoption experience (public or private) leaves you vulnerable to some degree.
Since we were already licensed through Nightlight, all we had to do was update it to get back on market for our fourth, and final adoption. We created another Personal Profile (Birth Mom/Profile Book) and were excited about completing our family.
This placement took the longest. As potential birth mothers repeatedly passed us by, we wondered if it was even going to happen. Three months later we had pretty much given up hope, and put a bid on a new home. That is when we got the call. But little did we know — that was not the end of our waiting.